Friday, April 19, 2013

Two Weeks

Our newest addition is two weeks old already!  (Well, 2 and a half if you want to be technical.)  I'm happy to say that she is a much better sleeper so far than her brother or sister were.  They nursed every 2 hours, which means it would be 2 hours from start of feeding to start of feeding... so if it took 30 minutes to feed them they'd only sleep for 90 minutes and then be up wanting to eat again.  Oye.  :)  So far Eliana sleeps (yes, sleeps) 3 hours at a time during the night.  She'll nurse, sleep three hours, and wake up to nurse again.  I'm so thankful, because as tired as I feel now I know it would be so. much. worse. if I was getting even less sleep.

This past week has been a bit rough, as Matthew was in Minneapolis, MN for work.  He just started a new job on Monday, for a company called ApexIT.  He had received an unsolicited offer about 3 weeks ago, and for numerous reasons (including a very sizeable raise) he decided to take it.  He misses the people at Tyler Tech, but so far he has received several emails from other consultants at Apex welcoming him and everyone he's talked to has been very nice.  He was warned his first potential project was for a 'difficult' client.  He had an initial interview with LOL (the client) and it went very well and they wanted him to handle their stuff, so he's been in their corporate office all week kicking off the project.  He wrapped up his week on-site this afternoon.  When he finished up with the guy he's been working with, the guy told him he was very happy with the work he'd done and was going to tell Matthew's boss he needed to give him a raise!  lol.  Not bad for a guy doing work he hasn't done in over 2 years!  I'm pretty darn proud of him.  :)

I'm super thrilled that he'll be back home tonight though.  It's been tough having three children 4 and under all on my own.  Well, not all of it has been tough, but parts have been.  I guess it wasn't maybe as bad as I was thinking it would be, but I'm still glad it's Friday and he's on his way home.  It's just nice knowing that if Joshua is in the tub and the baby starts crying that I have backup.  :)  I did make it out of the house with all three kids on my own though... twice!  They were all dressed and cute... I however, had my washed-the-day-before hair up in a ponytail, my face without any makeup, jeans, and a pajama shirt hidden under my coat.  Hey, at least the kids looked good.  haha.

While we were out, I had no less than five people stop me to tell me how full my hands were.  Guess I'm one of those parents now... you know... the ones with the brood of children following them.  lol.  The looks on their faces were pretty funny when I told them that yes, my hands were full... and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Or the woman who was commenting that now our family wasn't even as far as the boy to girl ratio, and I said "That's ok... maybe the next baby will be a boy."  It was too funny.

And just in case anyone else is wondering:
Yes, they are all mine.
Yes, they all have the same father, and we are still happily married.
Yes, I DO know what causes this, thankyouverymuch.  Ahem.


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Memories of Grandma

Growing up, I was blessed to have an amazing and wonderful grandma.  I was even more blessed by the fact that for almost all of my life, she lived with us.  She was there when mom was working long hours.  She was there when I'd come home crying after a tough day at school.  She signed permission slips when I'd forgotten to ask mom, or write me notes to excuse me when I was late for school.  She made my lunches as a kid, and helped do my dishes when I got older and wanted to 'cook'.  :)  She taught me solitaire and the value of sending a handwritten note.  She knew about joy, pain, and incredible sorrow... and she walked with me through a wide range of emotions.  She always knew when I needed her to talk to me, and when I just needed a shoulder to cry on.  Sometimes, she'd even cry with me.  I have so many memories of her.  She was completely entwined in my childhood and adolescence.  I am so thankful for all those days I had with her and the privilege it was to have so much of her time on this earth.

Some of my favorite memories of my grandma are...

Watching her in the garden, and how it impressed me that she didn't mind bugs

How strong and sure her hands were as she worked, and how rough they felt

Making pb&j for my lunchbox

Seeing her sitting at the counter playing solitaire when we got home from school

Eating her Sour Cream and Onion Lays and Diet Pepsi (even though the rest of us preferred Nacho Cheese Doritos, lol)

Her ordering butterscotch sundaes from DQ

Writing 'dust me' on her dresser... then doing it for her a week later.  She hated dusting and pretty much refused to do it.

Her definitive elastic waisted 'grandma pants'

Shaving her legs for her once in a while

Her bugging mom to cut her toenails... and mom putting it off until grandma cornered her with the clippers.  :)

Laying on her bed before bedtime talking about boys, mom, and everything else

How she always encouraged me to forgive others and see the best in them, especially my own mom when we didn't see eye to eye.  She reminded me that mom was doing her best and I needed to give her some grace.

How good she was with great grandma, and how determined she was to take care of her.

Watching her make pie crust.  I swear she snuck something in, because mine never turned out as good as hers.

How bravely she faced her cancer, surgeries and chemo that eventually robbed her of her mind

Watching her crochet straw hats with her big jar of bag balm (I swear I can still smell the stuff)

Taking small odd jobs to help pay the bills while mom was in college

How she never hesitated to tell me she was proud of me

How easy it was to talk her into getting us kids a treat when she took us to the store with her

How she always smelled faintly of baby powder

The time we made attempted to make lemon meringue pie and she used instant lemon pudding...

When we made pie crust with rancid shortening... eew!  In our defence, it was butter flavored shortening so the yellow color didn't tip us off.

When we were making spaghetti and realized we didn't have sauce... she suggested using ketchup.

Sitting next to her in church and hearing her sing, especially Blessed Assurance and The Old Rugged Cross

When she gave me my first real Bible when I was baptized, and how much I treasure what she wrote in it for me

How she took the time to send me letters while i was away at dads as a kid or in college later on

Fingering through her jewelry box, she had some fun stuff in there

When she got put in the nursing home and ended up with a boyfriend!  She always called him 'sweetie' or 'honey' and when I'd ask her who she was talking about she'd say 'oh you know, what's his name.' She never could remember it.

How she always told me what a great mom I'd be someday.

When we'd tease her about something and she'd say, "I'm a tough old bird, you're not getting rid of me that easy!"

Last night this amazing, loving woman passed away.  As I rocked my newborn daughter, I couldn't help but think about how we come into this world so small and new... and (hopefully) leave it old and wrinkled.  Life is so short, and our time on earth passes so quickly.  All we can do is live the best we can and hopefully touch a few lives on our way through.  My grandma certainly touched mine.  She knew Jesus and wanted me to know him too.  For that reason, I know that this worldly goodbye isn't forever.  I am confident that I will see her in the Kingdom someday... with a perfect body and mind.  Then we'll never have to say goodbye again.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A Baby Story

Those of you that have been asking for the birth story and waiting so patiently, thank you.  :)  I've been dutifully trying to nap when she is napping, so posting wasn't really my top priority.  Right now, all 3 kids are napping... which would normally mean I should be resting too.  However, she is due to wake up very shortly.  Which means if I were to lie down, she'd wake up at the exact moment I fell asleep.  So I'll wait and nurse her, then I'll try to nap.   Ok, here's the story:

Here is my last belly pic, taken at 38 weeks:
On Monday night around bedtime I noticed that I was having more contractions than usual.  I timed just a couple and they were around 8 or 9 minutes apart.  I had a ton of 'false' labor with Joshua, so I wasn't thinking too much of it (just hoping).  Every time I got up during the night to go to the bathroom - which is about every hour or so - I noticed I was still having contractions and they were getting stronger, especially when I was up and moving around.  Finally around 4am I decided to try taking a hot shower to see if they'd stop.  They didn't, but the shower sure felt good.  :)  I got out and kind of started getting a couple last minute things for my hospital bag.  I'm starting to get a bit excited at this point, but still have myself half convinced it's a false alarm.  Around 5am I was debating calling my brother to come be ready to stay with the kids.  I felt so incredibly unsure whether him.  Was it really worth it to wake him up?  What if the contractions stop?  But at the same time, I was also thinking I need him to be here early because what if it goes as fast as it did last time and I have the baby in the car?  What if I wait and he doesn't make it here as quickly as I need him to later?  In the end, I called him.  He and Shevon got here around 5:45am... and of course my contractions seemed to stall out a bit.  Are you kidding me?!  Matthew suggested we go for a walk (even though it was only 18* outside) around the block.  We stopped at the gas station and got donuts for all of us.  Hey, if it was a false alarm I figured I'd need to have a peace offering ready for my brother since I did wake him up before the crack of dawn.  The contractions picked back up again as we walked and continued after we got back and ate our treats.  Contractions were now coming about 5 minutes apart.  I called the midwives and told them I'd be heading in shortly.  Then the darn contractions stalled out again!  I was so frustrated.  By now I was sure that the baby was coming today, the contractions felt real and were more uncomfortable... well, when I was actually having them that is.  At 8:30am we decided to just head in to the hospital and see what was going on. 

We pulled up and I told Matthew to just leave my bag in the car.  By now I'm thinking it was a false alarm and we're just going through the motions.  I get up and checked in and Karina (my midwife) came in to see me.  I was 4cm and 80% effaced.  That's IT?  I spent 20 minutes on the monitor and had all of 2 mild contractions.  I'm thinking, the nurses are down there laughing at me and we're going to get sent home.  Ugh.  They suggested I get up and walk a bit just to see.  So we did laps around the maternity ward.  Laps, and laps, and laps.  Every time we'd wander by the nursery, we'd pause and peek in at the babies... sigh... and keep walking.  About two hours or so later they put me back on the monitor and I was having a few contractions, still not great ones.  (Though I had been having decent ones while walking.)  We were going to get sent home.  I called my brother to let him know not to take the kids to our friends house, that we'd be home before he had to head to work.  I called Pine (who was going to watch the kids) and told her we wouldn't need her so she could go ahead and go to her planned Bible study.  A few minutes later Karina came back in to check on me.  5cm now, still 80%.  She decided we weren't going home.  My contraction pattern wasn't great, but I was dilating on my own... so we were told to walk some more.  I called my brother and my friend Tiffany (who had family in town).  Thankfully she was willing to help me out of a tight spot and take the kids until Pine was done with her study and could come get them.  I breathed a sigh of relief and we started walking some more.

Another hour (or two) goes by and it's time for the monitor and another check.  More contractions now, still not a great pattern.  I'd have 3 or 4 contractions about 3 minutes apart... then a 5 minute break.  I told Matthew that I didn't care what my pattern looked like, this baby was going to come out.  I could just tell.  Karina checked me again and I was at 6cm.  She said she'd be back again in about an hour or so.  I sat on the birth ball and we walked some more, and then we sat and messed around on the computer for a bit, then walked some more.  At 2:30pm Karina came back and I had (again) stalled out and was still right about 6.5cm.  She asked what I wanted to do - did I want to go home and wait a bit, keep walking, break my water...?  Matthew and I talked about it and there was no way I was going home.  At the same time, I'd been up since 4am and didn't want to use up all my energy just trying to keep contractions going by walking the floor.  We decided to commit to having the baby and allow Karina to break my water.  We were all very sure that my labor would pick up quickly after that.  Boy did it.  Immediately the contractions got much more intense and crampy.  Matthew asked me if I wanted to get up and walk after I'd spent 20 minutes on the monitor, and I told him I would not be leaving the room.  I sat on the birth ball and he rubbed my back and shoulders.
 A little 'too' comfortable still...
By now the contractions were strong, but nothing unbearable.  I was breathing through them just fine.  I noticed that I'd start tensing my forehead and my toes... so during the contractions I focused on keeping those two areas relaxed and taking long deep breaths.  After a little bit, I decided to try getting into the tub.  I mean, the thing is like 3' deep with jets all over it... and it's in my room.  How could I resist trying the thing out?!  Matthew ran the water for me and I climbed in.  It. felt. great!  lol.  The contractions remained super intense, but the jets helped it to be bearable.  Matthew did a great job talking me through the contractions and helping me stay focused.  I'd told him the things my doula had said that were helpful while I labored with Joshua, and he'd taken it to heart and did exactly what I needed him to.  I kind of turned on my side in the fetal position in the tub, trying to keep as much of my body underwater as possible (not an easy thing when you're belly is 42" around!).  I'd been in the tub for about 10 minuets or so when it happened.  I kinda felt like it might be... and then I was sure.  "Matthew!"  I yelled.  "I'm pushing!"  All of a sudden everything was in fast forward.  He ran and shut the jets off in the tub.  I immediately protested and commanded him to turn those things back on!  If I had another contraction in the tub I sure as heck wanted those jet things working.  He dutifully turned them back on and ran to get the nurse.

Next thing I know she's tearing into the bathroom yelling "Nononono!  We get in trouble for this!" as she grabs my hands and hauls me up out of the tub.  (She was deceptively strong for her size!)  They ran me across the room and got me up onto the bed, where I returned to the curled up fetal position.  (Karina had mentioned early in my pregnancy that delivering while on the lying on the side was particularly helpful in avoiding tears.... and I remembered that.)  So I'm in the bed, soaking wet straight out of the tub, shivering.  I had my eyes closed to keep my focus, but I remember feeling (Matthew) trying to dry me off as best he could.  I was told to go ahead and push when I felt like I was ready.  My ever present sense of humor was still there, I looked at a nurse and said "Now where's my epidural?" with a smile.  She told me "It's too late now, but if you want one when we're all done you can have one!"  I thought she was teasing me back, but Matthew said she asked him afterword if I still wanted it, lol.  Anyway, as soon as the next contraction came I started trying to get that baby out.  The difference in pushing between this time and Joshua was night and day.  With Joshua, I was so panicked that there was no concentrated pushing... it was all involuntary... and scary.  This time I was much more 'with it'.  I'd get a deep breath and push for all I was worth.  I was actually still trying to focus on keeping my toes from tensing, haha.  I pushed for 3 contractions.  I remember the sense of relief when i felt the head come out.  I knew it was all downhill from there.  The rest of the body came out on the next easy push and Karina said "Open your eyes, open your eyes!" and I did just in time to see her lift this tiny baby up onto my tummy.  Matthew said, "She's a girl!"  i had to look to be sure, because I had felt so sure I was having a boy.  Sure enough, we had a baby girl.  She was screaming, covered in white sticky stuff, and absolutely perfect.
We held onto her for almost an hour before surrendering her to be weighed, measured, and bathed. 
Our sweet baby girl was 7 pounds 7 ounces and was 20" long.  The reason it had been so hard to get her head out was that she came out face up.  My nurses couldn't believe I hadn't complained about back pain/labor, but I told them I'd had horrible back pain the entire last trimester of pregnancy so I guess I was kinda used to it.  At any rate, I guess I impressed them.  lol.  They said that also explained the poor contraction pattern, because her head wasn't pushing on things quite right.  I also got more good news, no tears (and thus no stitches)!!  As soon as the main event was over, an amazing tiredness came over me.  Like, hard to keep my eyes open kind of tired.  I'd successfully brought my third little life into this world, so I guess I deserved a little rest.  :)  I still found myself slightly in shock over the fact that I had a little girl.  In all honesty, I had been hoping for a girl (probably because I have so.much. cute stuff of Brielle's just sitting in boxes that I couldn't wait to get out again) but was pretty convinced we were having a boy.  I was excited regardless.

Eliana Grace (pronounced el-lee-AN-na, not anna, but like auna in the word sauna) was born at 4:43pm.  One hour and 45 minutes after my water broke.  She nursed great from the beginning, but was much sleepier than my other two babies were which was kinda nice.  I was actually trying to wake her up every 4-5 hours to nurse where my other two were demanding to be fed every hour or two.  So that meant I got a bit more rest as well.  We went home the next evening at 6:30pm.  My milk came in that night and she immediately started sleeping 3 hours at a time, again a nice change from Brielle and Joshua.  They'd go two hours from start of feeding to start of feeding... so if it took 30 minutes to eat they'd sleep 90 and then want to eat again.  Eliana will nurse for 30 minutes and sleep for 3 hours.  Score!

I still can't believe I have three children.  Wow.  I am so incredibly blessed.  When my brother told Brielle she had a baby sister, she squealed and said " Yes!  That's JUST what I WANTED!"  She wants to hold her all. the. time.  :)  Joshua is very observant, he likes to stand and watch her.  He gives her great kisses and hugs goodnight, and helps me pat her back.  He also goes running to her as soon as he hears her cry, trying to give her toys or books.  He's such a sweetheart.  So our little family is complete... for now...

Here's more pics:
 Just got home!
 Daddy x 3


 All my offspring.  :)
 Tiny sleeper
 So sweet
 Miss Eliana Grace
Baby feet

Candy Land

I've been really bad about posting... but I've been busy.  Between pregnancy symptoms (some normal, some not), the fatigue, etc. I've had to pick and choose what I spend my time on.  And honestly, when Matthew comes home from work and the house is a disaster, it wouldn't impress him much if I said "But honey!  I got a blog post up..." Yeah... that wouldn't go over well.  :)  So since it's been so long since my last post, the idea of 'catching up' has been a bit intimidating.  I've decided to just go ahead and do short posts instead of one giant post... at least it's in more manageable pieces that way.  At this point, I'm all for easy.  :)

While Matthew was gone for work, I let Brielle stay up 'late' one night so we could have some mommy-daughter time.  She desperately wanted to play Candy Land, so that's what we did.  We played three games.  I won the first game, after which she pouted and got mad because she wanted to win.  She wasn't too impressed with me when I informed her that I would not be letting her win.  We talked about being a good sport and all that good stuff, and she decided to at least fake a better attitude and play another game instead of sulking and going straight to bed.  She ended up winning the next two games, stinker.  At any rate, we had a good time.

It amazes me how quickly she's growing up.  She's not a toddler any more, as much as I want to think she is.  No, she's definitely undeniably a little girl now.  I'm excited and saddened.  I so loved her toddler years.  I'm sure my hesitation stems from knowing what I'm leaving behind (and how much I loved it) and having no clue what is coming at me next.  I am positive I will continue to enjoy her, but I still miss her being so 'little'.

For a long time, she's been very interested in how to spell words and how to sound things out.  So we've been working on that a fair bit lately.  She's loving it.  She thinks it's pretty cool to get out her reading books (the BOB series) and be able to read one to me!  How well she does definitely depends on how focused she is at the moment, but she's picking it up pretty quickly.  Then again, that kid has always loved books.  So far we've read a few larger chapter books out loud together, and her favorite has been Charlotte's Web.  I honestly don't think I'd ever read it until I read it to her.  How sad is that?  Haven't decided what we'll read next... we need to get back to the library again.  What was your favorite book as a young child?

I also caught a rare quiet moment with Joshua.  He was 'nuggling with the kitty and Brielle's blanket.  :)  Sweet boy.